Let’s get this statistic straight – there are more male riders out there on the roads than female riders. In mixed cycle clubs, men far outnumber women. And it’s true too, that if you are a woman and want a sporty boyfriend then the easiest way is to join a cycling club – yeah, plenty of men in lycra, ladies! If you’re a single female looking for a male, then in a matter of weeks you are likely to have some ‘male interest’ – not from one but at least two or three male cyclists – guaranteed!
So, for us female bike riders, finding a boyfriend who rides a bike isn’t usually a problem. However, for you males… I know, it is ‘tough love’. You kinda have to know ‘the moves’ and move fast, or she’ll be snapped up and TAKEN. The problem is, how do you chat up a woman on a bike, if the only time you see her is on a bike?
When I think back to all the times I was chatted up on a bike, most males failed miserably to make an impression on me. Below are a few of my personal biggest turn-offs and I’m sure many female bikers will agree with me with a smile. See if you can recognise yourself here – if you do, sadly you might have to re-think your Valentine tactics:
1. The Boy-Racer (the most common mistake!): you try to impress her by riding so fast past her, she has no chance to keep up. He has to be first up all the climbs and show he IS top dog. In group, he has to show his dominance by flying off the front and competing with everyone…all to impress the woman. A no-no, because a lady rider doesn’t want a show-off as a boyfriend!
2. The Non-stop talker: you sit beside her and talk to her non-stop asking every question under the sun for the entire ride. A no-no – she wants a boyfriend who isn’t’ in her face as she rides along. Non-stop banter gets annoying – yes, we want banter, but not so much a bike ride is completely ruined!
3. The know-it-all: you think the best way to approach her is to point out all her flaws when cycling along – to prove to her you know it. Complete no-no! There is nothing worse on this planet than having some male cyclist ride up to you and put you down to impress that he IS male and he knows it all..and you somehow ‘don’t'!
4. The ‘don’t you love me’ commuter boy: you first sit on her wheel like a limpet, trying to talk to her from behind. You then ride in front of her riding off doing bike ‘antics’. Sometimes it’s a track stand next to her at the traffic lights, other times it’s blasting off fast and showing off in traffic. You keep looking behind to see if she’s noticed…and yes, the only thing she has noticed is you’re a complete ‘circus act’…a no-no.
5. The circle in the roader: you think by riding far ahead and ‘waiting’ is the way to impress her. On climbs you go just a little bit ahead then start doing circles in the road to ‘wait’ for her to show her you are indeed faster than her. A big no-no..she’s not impressed, because you keep making her feel inadequate.
6. The win at all costs or bust (very common): you see the girl ahead is a fast bike rider, so you decide that a good way to show ‘prowess’ is to test her limits. You know you MUST be first to the top, and it’s a great way to show your cycling strength and then plan to ask her out for a coffee at the top whilst you wait for her. You fight it out on a hill and she beats you! Heck that’s the end of your day…you turn off never to be identified! A no-no…I mean, have you got to be first every single time to feel good about yourself to validate going for a coffee together? urgh – ego or what!
I’m sure if you are a woman reading this, you can come up with many more scenarios…but those are the main six I can think back to. If this is YOU above then it’s time to re-think tactics. Do you see the common thread that links all 6 mistakes above? It’s that you keep focusing on YOU…and not on her. If you’re so busy focusing on impressing by being bigger, larger, bolder, louder – then the bad news is the woman simply runs the other way.
The key to impressing a woman on a bike is to make her feel special. For example, make her feel good about herself! Do the opposite to what most males do and show her you think she looks great, or she looks fitter or slimmer etc. Flatter, (but don’t over do it) and she’ll notice YOU! And, let her be the way she is on the bike. Go with the flow…and respect her for who she is, not for what you want her to be!
And, if you’re the girl and you quite like this fella – then smile back at him! Yep – a guy is more attracted to a female when he knows he’s pleased her! So a simple smile is all he wants back, or “thanks that bike ride was great fun with you today” BOOM… a date is then imminent – no matter anything else!
When I met my husband to be, I’d probably been through the mill of various male riders over the years. But Euan? what made him so special? He didn’t have a flashy bike, he wasn’t particularly fit, he wasn’t the fastest boy on the block. He just made me feel good: he respected me for who I was with no opinions or criticisms and we just shared each other’s company riding bikes because that’s what we both loved and had in common. We got to know each other through discovering Scotland by bike together and soon enough the wedding bells were ringing!
So the bottom line is, if you want to find cycling true love this year: back off ‘the tactics’ and be yourself – just be yourself and if you like the girl in the group, then go easy – make her feel good first and I’m sure you will be well on the way to enjoying a lifetime of wonderful dates and bike rides together.
If you enjoyed this post, then do share it amongst your friends. I’m sure you have opinion about chatting up ladies, so would love to hear from you about how it worked or didn’t work for you! Do comment below or on Facebook… most of all, Happy Valentine’s Day!